Redirects the vortex outward for keyboards, vents and delicate shelving.
Ask for No. 1 →As seen on TV!
Introducing…
Love NozzleNo. 6
Satisfaction Guaranteed™ · Domestic Research Division · Sweden
Perfectly normal household attachments.
Designed in Sweden. Misunderstood everywhere else.
The television event
As Seen On TV
Thirty glorious seconds of vortex science and questionable naming. Press play.
P
PHLÜFFYS
Domestic Research Division — Sweden
The complete range1
Blowjob
Reverse-flow duster 2
Maximum Suction
Sealed-lip wide bore 3
Crevice Confessor
Narrow 14° taper 4
Flexible Persuader
Articulated neck 5
Corner Teaser
Angled fin tip 6
Love Nozzle
Signature vortex geometry
Six attachments. One perfect result.
A working household tool with optimised vortex geometry — and a name we regret nothing about. Ask for it by number.
Peak airflow for high-pile carpet, stairs and stubborn pet hair.
Ask for No. 2 →Extracts whatever hides between cushions, seats and skirting boards.
Ask for No. 3 →Bends into radiators, grilles and otherwise reluctant corners.
Ask for No. 4 →Coaxes dust from 90° room corners, cornices and picture rails.
Ask for No. 5 →Optimised for carpets, curtains, difficult corners and modern homes. Bayonet lock, high-visibility colourway, ergonomic grip. The favourite.
Ask for No. 6 →
Field-tested · Batch no. 006 · Consult the Swedish manual
Why PHLÜFFYS?
- Small batch — numbered, not endless
- 3D printed in Sweden
- Vortex optimised airflow
- Coloured, so it's hard to misplace
- Relief-printed, questionable naming
- Satisfaction guaranteed
Godkänd
Bruksanvisning · Frequently asked questions
- Is this a real product?
- Yes. A working attachment with a genuine vortex-optimised geometry.
- Is this a joke?
- Also yes.
- Is it safe for carpets?
- Please consult the Swedish manual.
- How do I order?
- Ask for it by number. Availability is limited to the current small batch.
The modular attachment system you did not know you had agreed to
Compatible with most situations, several tubes, and certain moods.
Now with PMAS™ bayonet stability technology
Because friction was not enough.
Extended-reach vortex column for locations the standard range politely declines. Maintains rated airflow behind, beneath and within most domestic geometries. Bayonet-compatible.
Request by code PMAS-DR/01 →Fixed ninety-degree redirection of airflow and intent, for surfaces that require a firmer approach without a change of tool. Retains full suction across the bend.
Request by code PMAS-A90 →Balanced Y-split manifold for households operating two hoses at once. Resolves the situation without preference, and without asking further questions.
Request by code PMAS-Y2 →Backwards-compatible coupling for pre-1984 equipment still in active service. Honours older fittings, and older arrangements, without judgement.
Request by code PMAS-CV-6 →Retained in the catalogue for continuity of supply. The designation has been withdrawn on the advice of our legal department; the fitting has not.
Request by code PMAS-LN/00 →Now playing
Customer Feedback
All verified reviews are eligible for lyrical adaptation.
Emotional accuracy not guaranteed.
Marketing
Verified review · adapted for full orchestra
Emotional accuracy not guaranteed.
Customer Support
We're Sorry You Experienced Suction
Official reply · adapted for orchestra and limited liability
We take every concern seriously, especially when it scans.
This is a perfectly normal household product.
Results may vary. Enjoy responsibly. Any resemblance between product designations and other
domestic activities is coincidental and has been reviewed by our legal department, which would
like to be excluded from this narrative. PHLÜFFYS Domestic Research Division — Sweden.